Grubby Hands

I’m whiney because of a diet I’m two days into, so this blog could sound cranky today. Turn back while you have the chance.

Gogh Away, Kid

I can barely draw a stick man, so I greatly admire the master artists. My favorite has always been Vincent Van Gogh.

I saw a couple of his paintings online yesterday and it reminded me of an incident about a year ago that involved both VVG and me. I was viewing a special exhibit at Frist Arts Center in Nashville and found myself alone in an open room with one of Vincent’s early works.

But I quickly realized that I was actually close enough to the painting to touch it if I wished, because the area wasn't condoned or roped off. I was literally inches from a Van Gogh creation that I could have done anything to.

I mention this because I walked away to look at another piece but happened to look back at a grubby-handed boy – probably 4 or 5 years old – who walked up to the Van Gogh and rubbed his nasty little fingers over the canvas. Then the kid's mother walked up with a smile and didn’t even scold her son.

I darted to find a security guard who hustled to the room and politely admonished the mother and child, then ultimately set up a roped area so nobody could get within six feet of the valuable painting. But I couldn’t help wonder why Frist officials didn’t barricade the painting in the first place.

The whole incident was so strange – kind of like playing darts with spaghetti. It made no sense whatsoever.

Fast Food Funk

When giving me my change, why don't fast food cashiers hand me the coins first and then the dollar bills, instead of first handing me the dollar bills and then balancing the coins precariously on top of the bills?

And also, does any customer ever answer “yes” when fast food employees on the drive-thru intercom ask you to order something just introduced on the menu?

“Would you like to try our new oatmeal and crushed walnuts cereal this morning?” they might ask.

“No,” I will always answer. Those poor employees might have to ask 500 consecutive motorists if they want to try the new oatmeal and crushed walnuts cereal, with every motorist answering “No.”

It's no wonder there’s always so much turnover at fast food restaurants. If I had to ask 500 motorists that kind of question 500 consecutive times, I would bolt from that job faster than a chicken being chased by Ronald McDonald.